Why Gay Men Often Fetishize Straight Guys

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Some psychologists think homosexual men’s attraction that is apparent masculinity comes from a broad propensity for people to eroticize characteristics being distinctive from their own—the “exotic becomes erotic” concept, as it is known. The fundamental concept is the folks you feel most distinctive from in childhood get to be the target of one’s subsequent intimate destinations, with gender non-conformers tending toward same-sex tourist attractions and gender conformers tending toward opposite-sex tourist tourist attractions.

The data with this, however, happens to be evasive. Additionally, there are more possible explanations. As an example, perhaps gay men’s choice for masculinity comes from an over-all societal devaluing of femininity or homophobia that is internalized.

“Since many homosexual guys spent my youth in places where effeminacy had been devalued and masculinity had been privileged, it could become very nearly instinctual to dislike or feel disgusted by shows of effeminacy, ” says brand New York-based sex specialist Zach Rawlings, who additionally identifies as homosexual and works together people in the LGBTQ+ community.

This description is sensible in light associated with the discovering that attraction to masculinity is strongest among homosexual males whom see on their own as masculine—many of whom additionally describe on their own as “straight-acting. ” This shows that many of these dudes aren’t completely confident with unique sex.

The attraction to BDSM

I surveyed significantly more than 4,000 People in america about their intimate fantasies for my guide let me know What you prefer, and something for the things I realized had been that LGBTQ folks fantasized more frequently about BDSM than did heterosexual people. This heightened curiosity about dominance-submission characteristics could explain, to some extent, the appeal of “straight guy” porn, as this genre features large amount of BDSM themes.

A few of these videos function right guys in extremely principal functions where, as an example, they might have rough intercourse with another guy or get “serviced” by way of a submissive partner that is male. By comparison, other videos function right males dealing with submissive functions, where intercourse can be forced they are tied up and/or humiliated in the process on them by another man and, sometimes.

Seeing men that are straight submissive functions may additionally be appealing since it provides some gay guys the chance to “overcome their sense of being disempowered and unwanted by right men, ” Kort claims. “It may allow them to feel effective over right males. ”

Out of this viewpoint, the selling point of “straight guy” porn might not actually be about homosexual males finding heterosexual males become inherently erotic, but alternatively it could stem from the undeniable fact that this kind of porn usually is actually about power and control. This might additionally assist to explain why that is“daddy the next most-viewed category on Pornhub’s homosexual site—“daddy” porn is big on power and BDSM themes, too.

Wanting everything you “can’t have”

For a few guys that are gay viewing right males have intercourse along with other males might be exciting since it’s taboo. We can’t have something (or someone), we come to want it even more when we’re told.

Taboos are perhaps one of the most themes that are popular our intimate dreams & most males, irrespective of intimate orientation, have actually periodic dreams about “forbidden fruit, ” or people who our tradition or society considers become off-limits. Right males undoubtedly get into the “forbidden fresh fruit” category for homosexual guys.

In addition, there was some excitement to be had merely in viewing individuals who are “breaking the principles. ” In many these videos, the right males are not just pressing the boundaries of the intimate orientation, but they’re usually additionally cheating on the girlfriends or spouses as well.

The look for acceptance

Still another possibility is the fact that fantasizing about straight males could be a means that some men that are gay acceptance. As Rawlings explained, “many homosexual males have seen great rejection from and also have thought 2nd class to right guys. Intimate dreams involving right guys can express sort of acceptance by the really individuals who have been their aggressors for a lot of their life. ”

Kort echoed this belief: “Gay men are disenfranchised by right males even now and kept outside their fraternity. These dreams can provide men that are gay feeling they are an integral part of their everyday everyday lives. ”


With regards to describing the benefit of almost any pornography, there’s often never ever a easy response. Our sexual passions are complex and various individuals could be drawn to exactly the same things for extremely various reasons. Which means that as opposed to one among the above mentioned explanations being appropriate while the other people being incorrect, it is possible—and quite likely—that each of them explain an item of the puzzle that is erotic.